I'm going to do something a little different this season by looking at the entire first round. Draft picks mean different things to different people, not that there's anything wrong with that, but these 32 incoming rookies are the ones that us owners tabbed as the most likely to make an impact for their teams.

Some will boom and become stars while others will bust and be free agent fodder and others will be who we thought they were (said in Dennis Green's voice...iydk look it up on YT https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWmQbk5h86w).

The weights/rankings you see are based on my settings and your rankings will likely be slightly different. This is the first round pre camp.

For Generals camp, here are our 4 rookies. I'm running out of time before I need something new to name rookies for as the gap between USFL time (2006) and real time (2023) is closing fast. Since the beginning my rookies' names have something to do with the current league year but I'm already finished with naming people born in because anyone born in 2006 is only 16/17 now. I'm not a big movie guy like I used to be in my 20's so I either don't care or don't know much about them unless they spammed ads on TV.

For this season, I started with Nathan Explosion from Dethklok, which is the band in Metalocalypse, an Adult Swim cartoon. I'm hoping Explosion will do just that to opposing QBs, at the very least he's needed youth for an aging DL.

Our 2nd round pick is WLB Burton Guster from Psych (USA Network). Psych was a silly detective show that like Metalocalypse, debuted in 2006. Guster isn't as fast as I would have liked but I did like his M2M coverage skills, which sort of protects me against him busting.

We didn't have a 3rd round pick and in the 4th we took another LB, Don Knotts. Knotts is slow with bad acceleration and high volatility but it was slim pickings late 4th round imo. Don Knotts was best known for playing Barney Fife on the Andy Griffith Show and Mr. Furley on Three's Company.

In the 5th round, our last pick was TE Ricky Bobby from Talladega Nights. Best case scenario is he takes the 3rd TE role from Al Gore so he can look for ManBearPig.

Good luck in training camp tonight everyone.

Here is the "after" picture, and overall it wasn't pretty. Of the 32 players drafted in Round 1, 13 boomed for a total of +41 points by my rankings. One player stayed static, leaving 18 players who busted a total of -92 points.

WR Gerald Walden, pick 1.28 by New Orleans gained 7 points to lead the 1st rounders. LT Herbert Jolly, Tampa Bay pick 1.27 boomed 5 points, as did CB Bertram Clark, who went to Birmingham at pick 1.12.

Two players gained 4 points, two players gained 3 points, four players gained 2 points and two players gained 1, with one staying put, zero net gain.

Only one player lost just 1 point, four lost 2 points and three lost 3. Continuing, one player lost 4 points while two players lost 5 and 6 points respectively. We then had two players lose 8 points, one 9 and then there were two players.

The Florida Blazers picked speedy RB Saul Jackson at pick 1.5 and he busted 11 points. He still kept his 90 speed and he's at RB weight so he should be productive anyway.

The biggest 1st round bust also hurts the most, as it's a QB. Washington was hoping Oliver Tipton would be the next franchise QB, but he lost 12 points and his accuracy ceiling is just 65. Ouch.

Overall I'm pleased with Generals camp as three of four boomed. RDE Nathan Explosion boomed +3 and should be a starter for the next decade, which is what you hope from a 1st round pick.

Second round pick, WLB Burton Guster was likely a victim of the name jinx. I should have never used a name that rhymes with bust. He has average speed but above average M2M still so he'll likely make the team. He just won't be able to tackle for ****.

MLB Don Knotts was our next pick and he's a little slow for my liking but he did boom +9, with his main weakness being 22 run defense.

Our last pick was TE Ricky Bobby and he boomed +4. Looks good on the surface but he's still a weak/mediocre blocker and could still be cut if we decide to only keep 2 TEs. Either way it looks like Al Gore will be able to go back to Colorado to help Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman get rid of Manbearpig. I'm cereal.

I was gone for the first pick, it worked out, I did pick the rest and they will have to work!
1-25 TE D Schroeder +6/+1
2-25 QB V Russell +14/+5
3-25 RT W Gibbs +1/+1
4-25 RB B Copley +5/+2
5-25 RB C Davis +7/+1
6-25 SS D Feliciano +4/-5
7-25 SLB M Lewis +2/-3

Only have two players headed in the right direction. 1st rounder DT Jose Cuervo 11/5 (44/87) and 5th rounder WR John Gehlert 11/5 (39/61).

The rest of those lazy bastards are headed toward the unemployment line if they dont at least play up to their expectations.

Not great in Michigan - 5 of 8 rookies boomed, but not much, and rounds 1 and 2 busted. Not totally unexpected gambling on higher volatility than normal.

1-18 FS Wesley Her (58 vol) +3/-2 now 49/78
2-17 WLB Charlie McDennis (100 vol) +0/-9 now 46/60
3-18 WR Vincente Wilcher (56 vol) +4/+1 now 42/65
4-17 SLB Ricky Albaugh (94 vol) +4/+5 now 45/66
4-22 CB John Martin (10 vol) +8/+1 now 31/54 (waiver claim from Storm)
5-18 WR/RB Warren Johnson (64 vol) +7/+5 now 39/70
6-17 WR Alfred Shock (68 vol) +6/+2 now 48/64
7-18 P Robert Bueche (50 vol) +7/-3 now 52/80

Even with the offensive players booming, their floors still seem pretty low, so I don't see any superstars coming from this crew. At least Her had a good base for his m2m coverage, so I think he'll be solid.

Gambler's Training Camp

No 1st rounder for the defending Champs so we made a few trades for middle round picks and rolled the dice!

2nd rounder
WR Terry Funk
+0/-7

Our top pick busted hard! In fact he busted so hard on offense, I'm moving him to defense where he will try to make an impact blitzing the QB!

3rd rounder
RB Jerry "King" Lawler
+7/-11

Another disastrous bust who has brick for hands but he is losing weight and will make the team as a RB4 or RB5. Can never have enough depth for the league's 4th ranked rushing attack.

3rd rounder
CB Bruiser Brody
+11/+5

The only boom in camp, he will cycle into the secondary where he begins as CB6 and will move up as he improves over the next few seasons.

4th rounder
CB Brett "Hitman" Hart
+3/-1

The Hitman was a small bust but his 94 speed is useful as a pass rusher for the league's #1 team in sacks from last season.

6th rounder
P Jim "Anvil" Neidhart
+7/-5

He busted as a punter but I drafted him for his 89 speed and 99 strength where he will be put in the defensive front 4 rotation joining another former P Fast Freddie Foster.

The Outlaws camp certainly had some bandits show up, but they didn't bring too many gems with them.

2.27 DB Jorge Stephen 82 vol -5: Our highest pick in a weak draft class and the cherry on top is the bust. He will make the team because of the lack of youth on the roster but a huge disappointment overall.

5.28 DL -> LB Scott Shook 76 vol +4: A slight ray of hope for the LB corps. Profiles to be more of a coverage guy than anything but assuming he can lose the weight there might be another position change in the future given his B&R coverage.

6.27 DB Sylvester Chan 58 vol +1: Very weak boom that will likely cost him his roster spot in a few seasons but until then he gets to be depth all over.

6.30 DL Michael Justice 88 vol +4: A low intangible DL that normally would be cut even with the boom but I have been gone for the past couple of days helping a friend move so he actually fills a roster hole. Depending on how his coverage skills develop he could be moved to LB as well even if he would be slower there.

7.27 OL Christopher Thomas 100 vol +11: A late round boomer who again will make a roster spot because he's young. Similarly to last year's 7th round pick Schreffler, how well he develops his pass protection skills will determine his roster spot in a few seasons.