2034 MLF CARNIVAL OF KISMETBy Georgi Ivanov Borisawa-jawa(c) 2034 Moot Points, LLC
Ah, February. A gathering of the Spring to come as Old Man Winter fades into his final hours, taking 20 MLF teams with him. Fortunately, for the remaining 12, the seeds planted during the frozen months of December have rooted into an opportunity of destiny as they hope to reap a Camp Cup trophy.
In the first matchup of the round, returning Black Pudding Division champ the Boston Revolution (
pronfl51) is even by the bookies against the Pittsburgh Ironmen (
trslick). Pittsburgh's
QB Randale Hale, having led the league with 5,021 yards passing and the Ironmen to their 4th consecutive playoff appearance since he was drafted in 2031, has had his commitment to football questioned after opting out of a non-mandatory cadence drill to appear on Connie Povich’s Late Night show - In Bulgaria (!!) last Tuesday.
The other Bangers Conference matchup has the Denver Cougars, under 1st year GM
prestlyg12, on the road against perennial playoff contender the Ohio Red Dogs (
jabillups85). The Red Dogs, having made the Camp Cup chase since the league’s inception (2018), are favored by 6.
In the Mash and Gravy conference, the early game on Sunday has the Baltimore Bearcats (
calebwill [59-41-1 in MLF play]) looking to feast upon the Dakota Coyotes at Byrd Stadium in Baltimore. Led by veteran
QB Rex Ponce (yep, 5-time Camp Cup winner Rex Ponce), signed in free agency after leaving Beaver Dam, and his league leading 71% completion percentage, Baltimore is expected to roll against a league-owned team.
The last game of the weekend, featuring the Texas Rustlers (
loanblood) at home against the Oklahoma Stampede (
jhall218), has been branded as a David vs. Goliath battle with the Rustlers favored by 11. The Texas D, full of cowboy action, have been herding quarterbacks all season and lead the league with 1.5 sacks per game. “We got the lariat, and we know how to use it. ****, I hogtie cattle all offseason, and (OK
QB Joseph) Blevins only got two legs. Eddie Murphy had none in
Trading Places, and he took down Wall Street” stated Stetson hatted
DE Bruce Gibson (5 sacks/7 hurries/19 tackles).
This reporter, much like everyone else since Gibson's crushing week 7 concussion and born in the late 20th century, had no idea what the Mr. Gibson was referencing.
Read in next week to see the deets and the feats as the MLF Camp Cup draws near.
Looking good, Billy Ray.
...feeling good, Lewis!
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Last edited at 6/27/2021 8:08 pm